Hello cupcakes so the past few days have been busy but today's pretty open and the boy is just sleeping away in ma bed and i'm rotting on my sofa so day 2, let's go.
Okay so for day 02, " Where you'd like to be in 10 years." okay so i am not so much sure of if they mean this literally, like which country or what situation, but i'm guessing it's more of how i want my life to be like 10 years from now?
If you've known me since i was a lil kid, you'd know that i've always wanted to be a doctor. I think part of me secretly still does. It would range from being like just a General practitioner to like a Veterinarian and sometimes even to a full blown general surgeon cutting people up and shit. What happened? Life. So as you grow up, you learn things, about yourself and about how fucked up the universe works.
So in hopes of pursuing that path i was hell bent and driven to get into this course in SP, Biomedical, cos i did research and all of which i found out i'd eventually get to practise along the lines of cardiology. In early sec 3 i discovered my unexplainable passion and how intrigued i was by the studies of the heart, thus the want to study cardiology. Early this year, i was given a chance to actually do even better, i was given the chance to go to JC and like maybe actually get to be a doctor, not some cardio-thoracic lab tech & yeah, i took a leap of faith.
Basically, i learned that despite my passion to be a doctor i'm obv not cut out, like yeah i rocked my my bio teachers world in JC but *reality check* you don't just need bio to be a doctor. You need chem, math and generally a fucking good A'level score and from where i stood with my 1 A and 4 S & Us, i was slapped back into the reality that it's all just one other thing i want but can never have.
BUT that's okay, i mean you can never have all that you want in life no? I was pretty convinced that my life was over, like meaningless. Y'know that feeling when you lose the one thing you've been so sure of. Like you lose yourself. But thanks to the people around me, i realised that i have potential in several other things. Like for one, i enjoy dancing, and no i do not intend to pursue that but it is just proof that you are not defined or meant to just be one thing in life and that if you can't be that, that you've lost all meaning or purpose in life. We all have a purpose, if you don't fulfil the purpose you thought you were suppose to fulfil, it probably isn't your purpose anyway. SO if you think you've lost it, you haven't, you just haven't found your purpose yet.
Back to actually answering the question, Yes i have found something i am passionate about besides dancing and being a doctor. I have my true calling; to be a couch potato and to potato my life away. HAHAHA no i kid (but seriously, idea) Okay, jokes aside. I have found it. i hope this is the one. Cos like i'm 17 and in 4 months i'll be going down a completely diff path from the one i chose just 9 months ago.
I have realised, (note i say realise, cos this has been here since forever i just didn't quite see it) that THIS is what i want. Like literally T H I S . Writing. Like i've always enjoyed blogging, be it about my life or about things i wish were talked about more. & no before you start going all whooooot, no i do not aspire to be a blogger. like no, that's only for prettyskinnygirls obv not something i am, so no, i do not want to be some famous blogger. I want to be a journalist or a RadioDJ, anything that enables me to reach out. Like i have so much to say and so much to talk about and i've realised how writing and just conveying stuff i wanna put out to others makes me feel as a person. It makes me feel better, useful. like when people actually read my blog and they tell me they like how i write you don't get how that kind of satisfaction feels. People think the readers benefit from reading, but sometimes people need to realise writers write for a reason, it usually has to do with personal experiences and how they need the closure, so they write. It's like lifting a weight of your shoulders for the rest of the world to shoulder it with you.
For now, that's pretty much all i'm sure i want in 10 years. As cliché as it may sound, i guess i just want to be happy, so whatever my definition of 'happy' is in 10 years, i hope that that will be how i'll be living my life.
Loves,
x
