Call me maybe.

Sooo, it's pretty damn obvious i'm not really into blogging on a weekly, let alone daily basis. I blog when i please. I'm blogging now cos i'm bored as fuck. & yeah life isn't going as planned. Constanly slacking off instead of studying my ass off in some library or cafe. Not even in the feel for o's anymore. well, probably only have myself to blame for the sudden loss of inspiration & motivation. So here goes, i fell for some guy. Yeah i mean who hasn't? it's so cliché actually. But the worst part, i actually deemed myself fit for such an amazing hot guy. Like what the fuck was i even thinking?! Well, in life we do shit loads of stupid things, this is definitely one of those billboard-worthy examples. I mean i tell people to look in the mirror & fucking know their place. & here i am thinking i'd stand a chance at something with this boy. Dafuq is wrong with you tolentino. Well, i've gotta admit that i've been missing attached life a lot. Like i go out, see couples & feel like texting that jerk. Yeah that desperate right now. Guess i'm just tryna get the hang off being single? idk, i've never really had to deal with feeling this way. tsk. but i intend to stik with either being single or staying the hell away from that mofo for the longest time. I cannot & will not let him do anymore damage to my life than he already has. As for my fairytale prince charming that seems to neither be coming round on his noble steed nor saving this damsel in distress form a life of being #foreveralone. I better start waking up, no? Yeah, gotta get it down that he's not mine. & never will be. 

So here's what i've noticed, getting over someone is like going on a diet. It's like this...

1. You are so fucken motivated to stay away from snacking/him.

2. You start convincing yourself you're better off without snacking/him.

3. You psych yourself out for the next few months/weeks(as if?) of getting used to being without him/snacking.

4. You think of other more productive things to keep your mind off snacking/him.

5. You get a lil itchy so you start flirting/snacking on other guys/snacks.

6. You get real depressed cos you realized the healthy snacks/other guys are nothing like unhealthy snacks/him.

7. It's half way throughout the day & you finally slip when you receive his text/have a sudden craving for snacking.

8. You reply his text/convince yourself one snack won't hurt.

9. You get heated up in his texts/can't stop snacking away.

10.You realize how stupid you've been for replying him/ snacking away, when he doesn't reply you after hours/ you've ran outta snacks.

& then go back to #1. 

So yeah, fyi i fucken typed this out myself. why am i deemed fit to give this conclusion? cos your truly, has have had the privilege to encounter both experiences. 

It's like seriously dude, you need to stop sending girls mixed signals, stop pushing & pulling. Don't leave me hanging on a thread like that. It's driving me crazy. Like turning-into-a-menopausal-bitch-when-you-don't-reply crazy. Like don't call me silly names & get me all smitten then stop replying. then suddenly you decided to text me again, then for no apparent reason stop giving me the time of day. (yes at this moment i just received his text, like his first text, of the mf day. I smiled & wanted to cancel this post, but FUCK NO.) Not receiving his texts gets me so on edge, i get all angst & upset but it's like i have no fucking right to even feel this way. He isn't mine ffs.

Goshhhhh, i'm pretty sure i'm preaching to the choir when i say that you feel me. cos i'm pretty damn sure(judging by all the retweets of my tweets about him) that there are so many peeps out there just ready to put all they have, everything on the line & put themselves out there for that special someone. &i'm to saying that fairy tales don't exist? (cos i have a friend that is a hell of a lucky ass bitch whose happy with her special someone who she waited for for like whut? 3 years?) BUT, we gotta fucken admit & accept the fact that we're not all that lucky. Tsk, so yeah i just wanna post this, cos my feelings are all soooo messed up for that guy right now. 

On the contrary, like every story has gotta have a good side right? He's so cute, he's sweet & definitely makes me feel like i can trust him. But that's just me, & who am i to stop anyone form waiting for that special someone? but yeah, you gotta know that waiting for someone could make or break you, & you gotta damn well accept it. I have. So imma take a few days to figure out of sure if i wanna wait for him or not. 

Don't ever let your self expect. Cos all expectation brings is disappointment.

& if all else fails, remember one thing. It may be stupid to many peeps, but hey you gotta fucken accept how true it is. YOLO. haha.

You only live once.

Also, if anyone judges you on your feelings for that someone, just don't gaf cos they don't know the first thing about how you're feeling, if they did, they would not judge you. So to hell with them.

Bye Bitchachos.