Insecure.

Hello cupcakes. i'm here with a topic post. soo, today i just wanna talk about insecurities. this, among a lot of other problems is by far the most recurring & common issue many people(especially girls) experience. Idk, if you're some self-sufficient arrogant person or think you're perfect then this clearly isn't the blog post for you, so i suggest you either exit this page or by all means read on, but do not be all, 'bitch please, i'm perfect" all up on my ass.

So there're three kinds insecure people out there. the genuinely insecure, but try & deny it kind of insecure.
These kind of people tend to coop up at home & give reasons like i'm lazy, i'm not feeling it today & so on, simply avoiding having to step outta the house or simply to be seen by anyone especially by strangers who could potentially judge them.

Or they could bother going out but don't voice out how they feel about how insecure they are. They don't deny or whatsoever, they just avoid the topic. They don't purposely rant on about how they hate their body & all. They see skinnier girls or prettier girls but stfu about it, but deep down all they want is to feel that pretty or feel that skinny. but STFU about it. These are the more laidback, still uptight, but defo more laidback.

Next, there's the kind that are genuinely insecure & don't fail to fucking let the whole world know about it. They are like all 'OMGWTFASDFGHJKL i hate my thighs, i wanna be skinnier, i'm so ugly" Haha, don't feel bad, cos hunny unfortunately, i fall in this category. like OMG. when i'm with a friend,we spend half the time staring at cute guys & the other half staring at girls hotter than us(which is about 99% of the female population) & be all "i wish i was herrrrrrrrrr" Sista i feel yo pain. trust meh, i feel yo pain.


Lastly there's the type that are completely not insecure but fucking act as if they are. this is the fucked up category, & yano what else falls under this fucked up category? girls who are so damn ass skinny, but call themselves fat. bitches that already look good but go on & on about how ugly they think they look. Like bitch really? Really? STFU. These 2 types of fucked up people should just stick it somewhere else cos seriously, girls like me that are legit feeling insecure for all the right reasons, are sick and tired of Listeining to skinny ass hos be bitching bout being insecure for all the wrong reasons.

& WHY exactly do people feel insecure exactly? why? HAHA, i especially hate when boys ask you all annoyed "why the fuck are you so insecure?" oh idk, maybe COS YOUR DOUCHEBAG MALE SPECIES KEEP CALLING US FAT & UGLY OR CONSTANTLY COMPARE US WITH GIRLS THAT ARE OBVIOUSLY HOTTER THAN US & DO IT IN-FUCKING-FRONT OF US? or idk it could be just cos we choose to be insecure on our own. yeah.

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Well hun, i feel you. 

Okay so this is where shit gets personal. I've also been a victim of such shit. like ofc it's not as bad as demi lovato & many other girls who have decided to end their lives(obviously i mean who else is typing this rn)  well yeah, so i've got comments saying i'm fat & especially hairy like on my legs & arms., So yeah, these two kinda hurt the most cos firstly, the weight, i have tried to loose it before & i did, but thanks to dane. after i stopped dance in april cos of O's, i have been putting back on the weight, which obiously sucks.. & i can't help it, simply cos i don't have time anymore to dance & do all the workout stuff we do during dance prac, like i've tried going to the gym & all, but one can only do so much. Secondly is my legs & arms, god i remember this guy telling me "you should like go on a diet then go waxing" wow that hit so hard it's still etched deeply in my mind & i can recite it word for word, so yeah once i went waxing thanks to avril & i swear i actually felt good about my legs cos they were like hairless. like it felt really good. but let's be honest, i don't have the money to go do that every few months cos it's gonna cost me sooooo much(about $50/wax) so yeah. i have problems too. & i admit i feel insecure as shit about it. haha. i mean i'm only human.

Okay since i got all that out then let's move on to the importance of today's post.
Being insecure is really common as i've probably already mentioned a gajillion times, but some people fight it. This is completely normal. BUT sometimes it's better to admit how insecure you are, this is like admitting you have a problem. Yano they say the first step to recovery is acceptance. so yeah ACCEPT that you're insecure & instead of being all moppy about it, Do something about so we all can move the fuck on with life already.

Like seriously though, ya gotta do something about it. if you think you're fat, get yo mouth outta that bag of chips, yo spoon outta that tub of B&J's, get yo lazy ass up from that sofa, get the fuck outta your bed & do something about it. go to the gym, go running or hell just put that bag of chips/tub or icecream back to it's chamber, close its door, lock it & throw away the goddamn key. cos yano sitting there & just stuffing yo face ain't got make you feel any less fat, on the contre, it gon make you feel & look worst hun.

If you feel ugly, don't. cos honeslty, there's nothing you can do (if you're in the right mind) to change that face. there are so many ways to enhance parts of a person without surgery, like using make up to make you look better(now don't be going all 'ewww, make up is no unnatural' cos if that's the way you think, don't bother being insecure, or just go spend a few thousands on a new nose or plumper lips, cos i really couldn't give 2 fucks about snob peeps like you), wearing clothes that hide or flatter the different parts of your body. Plus c'mon personality is so much more important than looks.

& then there's the kind of people you hang out with. if you're surrounded with skinny ass bijs that make you feel horrible about your body, then why subject yourslef to that kind of torture when you can be happier with other friends.

Not be the reason why you stop believing in yourself.

Also, If some guys say stuff to you like 'eh why you so fat?' 'cb your thight fucking big sia' , firstly, if you're composed & all, simply smile it off & be like, if they're so unsightly, don't fucking look at them. secondly, if he's like your friend. smile it off & be like 'FRIENDSHIP OVER' cos honestly hun, you don't need friends that make you feel like shit.

Surround yourself with people that make you feel good. Lastly, if he's like your boyfriend or some douche, again, smile it off, then simply take a second to get a good aim & either slap his face so hard his head spins, or simply kick him where it hurts. literally. Ha. cos they kinda deserve it.

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If you're a guy or girl & you're readin this now, you need to know how much one simple "eh you damn fat sia" can do to a person. she can take it so seriously that it may be too much for her to handle. & this is already considered bullying. Did ya know that demi lovato is a victim of this verbal abuse & after several eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia, many cuts on her wrists it eventually landed her in rehab? Yeah & in some extreme case, result in suicide, which is fucked up on so many levels. i mean would you be able to live with the fact that you passing a casual comment just cost someone their life? would you? i highly doubt it, if you can, then you seriously deserve to go to hell.

So the next time you wanna fucking pass a demoralizing comment on some person which you know could potentially hurt them, SAVE IT. they don't need to hear your bullshit cos they already know & they already hate themself enough for it.

So i just wanna end this saying, yes, to a lot of people, appearance is very important. But as cliché as this sounds, it's what's inside that counts.

You're beautiful, don't let anyone ever let you think or feel otherwise, I love you x.

Oh & listen to this, cos every time i feel a lil fucked up or ugly, i just listen to this & instantly feel a bit better. It makes me feel okay with how i am & helps me accept myself as i am & gives me a lil hope that maybe i'll find someone who'll accept me for me too.

Tell them i was happy.

When someone says Haylor. yeah. totes.

Hello cupcakes. this is gonna be an update post. I've been sooooo busy wiuth work it's been crazy. So i guess i'll just blog roughly how last week has been for me.


So Monday was the first day of work for me. It was really quite bad, like really quite fucking unbearable. I wanted to quit my job on tht day. like seriously. HAHA i was somehow plotting how to get outta the job or find some idiot replacement. BUT, i got through it tstuck through the first day. Had dinner with Jasmine at far east plaza. thank god for her. Got home to see that my parent shad pimped my room & i loveeeee it:')

Oh & surprisingly, Tuesday, the second day was more than bearable. in fact it passed by pretty quick. (btw i'm blogging at work rn) the second day daddy came to shaw & i spent my lunch break with him shopping around. Then i spent my dinner with jasmine @ mac woopwoop. Cos we were both craving mac like asdfghjkl. Then she came to my workplace wimme & we slacked till i ended work.

Lunch Pinoy Style.

Mac for Dinz with Jasmine. 

Selfie before work. 

My hunnybunz. 

Wednesday was quite okay, like ofc still boring but there was this Hobbit movie premiere shit, which was damn good cos our event area was closed off, soooo we didn't have to do anything. Didnt go for dinner cos i had a 2 hour lunch break with a friend. Had nutella for snack cos daddy mde lamb chops for dinz. was dabomb.com!

Selfies. Heh.

snack?

Yum. Lamb chops for dinz.

Thursday was pretty much the same, yano work was draggy but there was this other company event sooooo our area was closed off again. which was fugging awesome cos i asked jasmine to come over & we tumblr-ed & all cos my partner left early with his girlfriend. HAHA, you must be wondering why i have 2 hour breaks, can go for smoke breaks as & when i please, can blog while working & why my partner can just leave with his girlfriend? cos our bioss really either couldn't give 2 fucks or is just super open about gving us 100% of his trust. however you see it. Was prettty damn happy cos thursday was my last work day of that week as jasmine was taking over my shift on friday.

Please support my Bunny Heeyoung's new blogshop! 

Friday i woke up sick. yeah, fuckedup. But things were planned so when i woke up i went down to collect the cake my mom ordered for me for danielle sweet 16 celebration.
Then i rushed to holland to get PV cupcakes for Lynette's sweet 6. yes tolentino is very busy. after getting the cupcakes i brought them along with her present to the DBS bank at holland to surprise her cos she haappened to be there. Well, tbh i doubt it was very much of a surprise, but i did my best yo.

LYNETTE LEW LEETING! IF YOU SEE THIS HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY BABYKIOW. I HOPE YOU LIKED THE CUPCAKES & YOUR PRESENT. LOVE YOU.

After that i headed home & rested for a bit till danielle called & i went to get ready to meet her at vivo.but before that i headed to shaw to get tix for the midnight movie with David & to accompany jasmine for her lunch break. we headed to far east to have EAT cos she was craving it after accompanying me for my break on my first day of work.
After that i headed to vivo & met up wit danielle. Went job scouting with her for a bit. she applied at a couple places. Then we bought some stuff.
Got me a new pair of black studded balerina flats. happeh cos it's something different for the usual black studded flats that are oh so overated rn. Then we headed to holland to meet up with brendan & dylan for dinz at kenny rogers. wow the food there is great. like really really great. pricey, but so totes worth every cent, especially if you eat in bigger groups cos you can order like the big meals or family meals. we had this meal with like one whole of their signature chicken, one whole rack of their signature hickory ribs & 4 sides for $68++($80) which meant $20 per person & that's cray cray worth it for the quality & quantity of the food yoh. So defo head down to your nearest kenny rogers & pig out soon.

After dinner my dad came & brought danielle's present & cake over. & she was sooo suprised. So happy she loved her present & her cake! Haha it was an orea cheese cake cos i knew how much she loves her cheesecake.

lololololol. it's supposed to be happy sweet 16th hun. but ohwell.

When we finished the cake & all we headed to my crib to chill for a bit, dylan left then jasmine & adelie came over too. Me & jasmine even filmed this Birthday greeting for Louis's 21st birthday this christmas eve. Which was mad fun to film cos danielle, being danielle DID NOT make it easy for us to do it. She kept jumping into the shot like halfway through filming "cos she though it lookd more unique with her in it" WHUT?! Hahaha.

Can you just see how crazy we are all laughing. even brendan, whose taking the horrible candid shots is laughing cos this picture is like SHAKING.

Ladies & gentlemen my female best friend. homy. HOOOOOOMY. 

But. she da apple to my pie, the straw to my berry & she says i'm the bra to her boobs. so we good. 

i love her.

At about 11 we all left my place while i headed down to town to meet david for our movie. we caught breaking dawn part 2. YES it was my third time watching it, but oh well it's a really nice movie, the best of the twilight saga i feel. After the movie we went over to starbucks & he got a gift for a friend, then we decided to actually walk, yes WALK back to holland from town. It was really nice, like just walking in the fucking empty streets (cos it mean it was 3 am in the morning) & catching up. We just never seemed to run outta shit to talk about. Eventually we got tired like somewhere inbetween maris stella & the highway, we took a cab. He was sucha sweetheart & even sent me home. When i got home, i just couldn't go to sleep so i stayed watching videos & tumblring till about 5 or 6 in the morning. which, sure enough, i regretted as hell in the morning.

Saturday morning, I woke up feeling H O R R I B L E, cos not only was it my 2nd sick day(which is usually the most rabak for me) but i also only had 4 hours of sleep. & i had to get up & head out to soon to meet danielle. Was almost gonna bail on danielle when my xmini boss called & said he needed the key to the store room cos he lost his, being the fucking responsible & kindhearted ass bitch that i am, i said i'd come down to pass it to him. (i somehow feel that i'm fucking responsible for these kinda things, for god knows what reason.) so i got my lazt sick ass outta bed & headed down town.
After passing my boss the key i went to far east to meet Danielle & Joanne(she likes to called jo or joeybalony) haha, they're great to hang out with, We were mostly there to be danielle shopping consultants. me & jo didn't get much stuff. infact i didnt get anything for myself at all. It was all danielle. she got 2 clutches & even a pair or oxford wedges. soo proud of her for 'trying' to bring out her femenine side. emphasis on TRYING. hahaha!
headed to ion to meet daddy at around 530 & shopped around F21 for a bit, was gonna get some nice cnew clothes for NYE countdown this year from there & just make my dad pay so he'll have my christmas gift done, BUT they didnt have the one dress that i absolutely loved. like they had it, but the last 2 pieces were in L, & the other outlets didn't even have it anymore. oh my poor retail broken heart.
Then we headed down to A&F to get my godpa & godbro's gifts done. Got my bro this sexy long sleeved top & my godpa a polo. After that we cabbed back tp star vista to meet my mom for dinz with le mom. Decided to go jap & have some awesome ramen that can be found at the basement level of star vista. It's soooo good especially cos i was sick & it was really very fucking awesome. got hope & emo-ed to P.s I love You with a tub of raspberry sorbet.

$1 icecream is the besttttt.

Super yummy ramen. it's making me hungry:(

Ahh the Kiss You snippets previewed & homy, the bike scene with harry & zayn on that bike, was asdfghjkl hot. So myheader had to be that picture okay. nuff said. 

Oh & also follow me on @celesteltx on twitter & instagram!

Then Yesterday which was sunday(like duh) was stay home sunday for tolentino cos i wanted to rest after going out for like 2 consecutive days. Stayed home & like watched 'are you there, chelsea' on  MIO for the whole afternoon. & also caught up on The Vampire Diaries latest Episode. which was heartbreaking cos damon used that whole sire bond shit to command elena away form him. FUCK his righteousness.  Then i took a nap & got up just in time to get ready to meet peisheng for dina. Homygawd, if you actually read my blog from like primary school, you'd know how close we were are. Still are:') in henry park, we would talk otp like every fucking day till my parent would scold me for talking otp so much. but yeah he was & thankfully still is, my best friend:') We met up & had EwF for dinz. had just fried & also finally got to try the nutella tart. woopwoop. We sat there for quite a while to catch up & even went to my place so he wanted to see le parents. love that he is really not tolerable towards people with annoying tweets but still has not unfollowed me despite how fucking annoying i am on twitter with all my one direction & harry tweets. (sorry) He's eaving for Italy tomorrow(luckyass) sucks cos he's going italy, jasmine's already at bkk, chris & brendan are both in taiwan & danielle's having camp. really really forever alone. oh well, hope this week passes by faster.

le best friend. 

Alright, that's all for my update post cupcakes, thanks for reading & stay tuned. Love you! x